Baseball is sometimes boring. Not always, but that’s what makes the exciting moments so transcendant: the play at the plate to end the game (now it’s waiting for replay review), the unbelievable throw from foul ground by the third baseman just getting the the runner, the right fielder stealing a home run.
But frequently nothing much is happening. So I often have some secondary activity while I’m watching: petting the dog, teasing the cat, reading the newspaper, scrolling the computer.
Noticing that my team, the Cubs, has a new player, Pete Crow-Armstrong, I remembered another favorite name of mine, Isiah Kiner-Falefa, and got to wondering:
Can I put together an All-Hyphens baseball team?
If you have to ask, “Why bother doing that?” you just aren’t a real baseball fan. Maybe synchronized swimming would be more your thing.
The Rules
My source is here.
All players have to have played in the major leagues. We can’t list them at a position unless they played that position at least once, although an outfielder can be assumed capable of playing any of the three positions.
Yes, I know there are some guys you would never play in center (looking at you, Kyle Schwarber). Fortunately, I have Pete Crow-Armstrong in center, who does play there.
First Name or Last Name?
Unlike Crow-Armstrong or Kiner-Falefa, there are a lot of hyphenated first names, e.g. Chin-Feng Chen or Ha-Seong Kim. It’s actually amazing how many Asian players with hyphens have played in The Show (I counted 25 of the 45 total). This task is too easy if we allow all of those. The hyphen is too common for an Asian name.
On the other hand, we have Peek-A-Boo Veach and Boom-Boom Beck! It would be unthinkable to leave them out. Besides, if we leave them and the Asians out, then we don’t have a full team.
Active or Not?
Again, we just don’t have a full team if we restrict to currently active players. Even so, our bullpen is thin. We might need to add some Asian players there.
The Lineup
Who Are All These Guys?
You probably thought I made up some of these, didn’t you?
Boom-Boom Beck : played from 1924 to 1945, for the St. Louis Browns, Brooklyn Dodgers, Philadelphia Phillies, Detroit Tigers, Cincinnati Reds, and Pittsburgh Pirates.
Austin Bibens-Dirkx: currently a coach. He played for the Rangers and also in the Chinese league.
Choo-Choo Coleman : was a catcher for the original Mets. Casey Stengel said he'd never seen a catcher so fast at retrieving passed balls.
Pete Crow-Armstrong: currently playing for the Cubs.
Christian Encarnacion-Strand : currently playing for the Reds.
Dee Strange-Gordon : played for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Marlins, Seattle Mariners, and Washington Nationals.
Isiah Kiner-Falefa : currently playing for the Blue Jays.
Seth Mejias-Brean : played for the Padres
Sean Reid-Foley : currently playing for the Mets
Ryan Rowland-Smith : played for the Mariners and Diamondbacks
Canaan Smith-Njigba : played briefly for the Pirates; he’s one of those guys who are almost good enough to stay in the majors, but not quite.
Pop-boy Smith : he’s our second oldest player. He played for the White Sox and the Indians between 1913 and 1917.
Peek-A-Boo Veach : Mr. Veach wins the prize as our oldest. He played for the Kansas City Cowboys, the Louisville Colonels, the Cleveland Spiders, and the Pittsburgh Alleghenys between 1884 and 1890. He was also a veteran of the Spanish–American War. How many baseball players can you name who did that?
“Baseball is sometimes boring. Not always, but that’s what makes the exciting moments so transcendant”
LOL, what baseball fan hasn’t had the experience of ducking out to get a hot dog and beer, and hearing the roar of the crowd as they miss the one big play of the game. It’s just part of the experience.
Thing about baseball is it was (and is) well suited to be listened to on the radio. The formalization of the various elements that make up the plays is formalized enough you can picture a double play or the various pitches in your mind. Plus, you could follow along on a scorecard. That must have been a huge factor in its crazy popularity during the radio era.